My ex fiancé has recently reached out to me and I don’t know how to proceed


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So I’ve made this throwaway account to make this post and just get some insight and maybe some advice. It’s a long story but I’m going to try and keep it as short as possible.

About 6-7 months ago my, now ex-fiancé, called off our wedding and broke off our relationship. She said she wasn’t sure she was ready to be married yet and that I “wasn’t stepping up enough”. It was a tough breakup especially considering we own a house together.

I was extremely hurt and it was a nasty break for a little while.

We didn’t talk much after the breakup and I found out about 2 months after the break up that she was dating someone new. It crushed me especially considering I knew of the guy from around town and mutual friends.

He and I had a few “discussions” via text and it almost got to the point of me calling the cops because he was harassing and threatening me. He’s not a great person and is known to do and sell drugs pretty regularly but that’s neither here nor there.

Now cut to about 3-4 weeks ago. I had talked to a mutual friend of ours and they said that my ex-had gotten pregnant with her bf and they lost the baby (her second miscarriage, she had one while with me). I knew it had to be hard for her and I felt bad but I never reached out to her.

Nothing ever came of it and I tried to put it out of my mind. Then about a week and a half-two weeks ago I’m in bed sleeping at 1:30am and my phone wakes me up. It’s my ex-calling and I answer still half asleep.

She’s on the other end hysterically crying and saying that she feels bad for how she handled the breakup and she has no one in her life that is there for her like I was and she wants to see me.

A day or two later we meet up and I find out that her new bf broke up with her in the middle of her going through the miscarriage and emergency surgery she had to have. This hurt me because I still care and love for this woman very much and hate seeing anyone like this especially her.

We’ve spent some time together the past week or so and things have been weird, to say the least. First of all, she’s still very upset and hurt by how this new guy treated her which is understandable. If that subject comes up I change the subject because I don’t want to just be a crutch or a shoulder to cry on over another man.

We’ve had some serious talks about how everything over the past 6-7 months has hurt me or her in different ways but there’s no talk of reconciliation. Right now I’m more concerned because she has said that she doesn’t want to live and she’s so alone which no one wants to hear.

As I said I still have strong feelings for her and it hurts to see her like this. Would I love to work things out somewhere down the line, definitely? Am I ready to just jump right back into something with her? Defiantly not. I’m just all messed up in the head since seeing her again trying to figure what to do or how to be there for her but also not be played for a fool.

Has anyone been through something like this because I feel like my life is a constant soap opera with all this drama lately? Please help a brother out!

Ex-fiancé of about 7 months has reached back out to me and I’m confused as to how to proceed.


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Jacob Asare

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