My boyfriend made me pay for my birthday breakfast


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Yesterday was my 22nd birthday. My boyfriend’s, about to be 23 in 7 days. I work at a restaurant full time and moved out when I was 19, and I’ve 100% supported myself for 3 years now. He’s a full-time college student and has had jobs/internships on and off but doesn’t have a job at the moment. He did work two jobs for a year or two so he had a lot of money in savings but used all that money to pay for his school. He recently applied to a couple jobs since his savings have dwindled down to zero but because he still lives at home and his dad pays for everything, him getting a job isn’t urgent or necessary.

We’ve been together for a year and 8 months now. I didn’t have a car when we first started dating and still don’t but he did and still does (again, which his dad pays for). I’ve always given him money for gas for picking me up, dropping me off and going wherever we went. It was starting to add up and even in the beginning I told him it wasn’t going to work out because I needed to use that money to save up for getting a car instead of giving him gas money to hang out all the time. He told me not to worry about it, but being who I am I still gave him money for gas, especially knowing he had a limited amount in his savings.

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We used to pay separate or for our own meals when going out, but after being together for so long now I don’t give him gas money as often and just pay for both of our food. However because he’s used all his savings on school and doesn’t have a job, he can’t pay for himself, so I have no choice but to pay for him. I didn’t mind it in the beginning, but I feel like he thinks we can just do whatever because I’m paying for it and he even said when he gets a job he’ll “get me back”.

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Well, yesterday was my birthday and I told him I didn’t want to do anything because I didn’t want to spend any money (and because I knew he didn’t have any). Well he gets off from school so texts me if I wanted to go get breakfast, so I asked where at and he asked again “At [this specific breakfast restaurant]?” So I say sure. So we go there, and we’re done eating and as we’re getting up he’s on his phone so I grab the check and we’re making our way towards the front where we pay, and he doesn’t even try to take it from me. So I pay for everything which is a little under $35 ($28 for food + $7 tip). He didn’t mention anything about it until later that night when we were driving in the car and he said that he “felt bad” about letting me pay for it. Which I don’t understand because it was his idea to go get breakfast, at that specific place. And having it be my birthday I thought he’d at least ask to borrow money from his dad instead of making me pay. He did say that, because his birthday’s only 7 days from mine, whatever money he got for his birthday he’d use it to pay me back for what I spent on my birthday.

But I’m still upset about it. I feel like I’m using my own personal money that I worked hard for and he’s just getting money from either his dad or birthday gift money that he didn’t have to put in any sweat for. I don’t know how to bring it up or what to do about it. Please help!!!


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Jacob Asare

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