I always asked myself if he really broke my heart over and over again or if I was the one who kept breaking my own heart by settling for a relationship that I knew deep down, didn’t sit right with me, hoping over and over again that it would magically change on its own.
I was responsible for myself after all, wasn’t I? I had choices in this world just like everyone else, didn’t I? It was up to me to teach people how to treat me, wasn’t it?
Along the line, I lost a huge part of my self-respect and blamed it on him. As time went on I started lying to myself and blamed it on him.
Gradually I started hating myself for staying loyal to a relationship that was killing me on the inside, and instead of taking accountability for what I was doing to myself… I blamed it all on him. How I messed up.